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Being a victim in your own life feels like a prison sentence and I know this from having been one. You feel stuck, you feel guilty for committing a crime that wasn’t your fault, and you are confused on how to break out. You were the one that was hurt, injured, and/or broken from the situation but yet you feel responsible.

If only…. You hadn’t of said what you said

If only….you had followed your intuition and left

If only….you hadn’t been drinking

If only….you listened to the rumors around you

If only….you hadn’t given in to your emotions

If only….you hadn’t let yourself get caught up in his web of lies

If only….you had spoken up sooner

If only…if only…if only

I know this because I lived it. For years I spent my life hiding behind my “if only” statements to protect myself. Those statements allowed me to be sorry for myself, be depressed, and most of all not take action. And to take action when you have been a victim of something awful is the hardest thing to do because you have spent your life not taking action and thus becoming a victim.

I’m going to sidetrack but follow me…

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. I love this movie for a myriad of reasons but one of the biggest is because of one crucial, pivotal scene that changed my life. Have you ever had that? Have you ever watched a movie and one scene changed your life? Well, it happens to me every time I watch this movie.

There’s a scene where Robin Williams is counseling Matt Damon on his past on he tells Matt “it’s not your fault”. Matt replies “I know.” This goes on for several minutes for Matt breaks down crying because he has realized it’s not his fault and surrenders.

It's not your fault

I’m here to tell you that if you want to break out of the victim mentality then there are 3 crucial steps you need to know…

  1. It’s not your fault…You need to recognize and surrender to it not being your fault. You can play the “if only” game the rest of your life but let me be the first to tell you that you don’t get very far playing it. Sure, you might get people to feel sorry for you but I would much rather have people be empowered by me than feel sorry for me. Yes, you could have done some things differently but you can’t take erase what happened.
  2. You have to be okay with not being the victim…Letting go of your victim mentality is going to be harder than you think. Your victim mentality has been your safety blanket. Once you take it away you might feel empty and lost. You have to comfortable with allowing new thoughts and allowing yourself to think differently. That can be scary as s*** but once you get the hang of it, it’s so much better.
  3. You have to decide to take control and taking action…No more blaming others. You are in control of your life and where it goes from here. Making a decision to take control is only half the battle, the next battle is what to do next, but that’s what I’m here for you.

I’ve been in your shoes, I know your thoughts, and I’ve lived what you are going through. It sucks but if you have decided to that you need to do something and you are ready to stop being a victim and start taking action then get ready, I’m gonna help you.

Look for more blogs and podcasts (did you know I had a podcast?) about breaking free and taking control. I have a lot more to share and I can’t wait to take this journey with you.

If you are going to take this journey with me then go ahead and let me know in the comments below.

Your Coach,


Michelle Rose

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